We had a family come for early check in. Okay we had like 900 families come for early check ins but this one took the fucking cake.
We told them we were still cleaning rooms and could process their check in and when the room was ready in about 20 minutes we’d give them the keys. They sat in our lobby for like 3 minutes and vanished and we assumed they’d gone to eat or they were in the bathroom.
Nope.
They saw their room number and walked up to the room and the room was unlocked/propped open because we were working on an issue with it and they just walked in and started making themselves at home. They didn’t even have keys.
I’m pretty sure my maintenance guy was thinking about killing them. He was so pissed, rightfully so but it’s not like we gave them keys. We’re very close to selling out so we’re just trying to figure out where to put people and we specifically told these people we’d come over and bring them keys in about 20 minutes.
Holy fuck, who goes into a hotel room without keys?
So to keep my Mr Fix it from murdering someone, I just went running through that hallway on that floor until I found a clean room and stuffed this idiot family into that room with keys like a regular person would normally use to get into a room.
Like you’re checking in like three days early (sarcasm) and we were trying to do you a favor and you can’t listen to simple instructions…
HOW DO YOU SURVIVE ON YOUR OWN? WHY FOR DO YOU NOT UNDERSTANDS THE WORDS?
Lady who is officially Super Butthole Snowflake status called four more times. Never got the answer she wanted because the rooms didn’t stop being sold out and we didn’t drop the two night minimum on another weekend she wanted to stay with us but you know Super Butthole Snowflake status, she doesn’t have to follow the rules. Let’s keep calling and see if someone says something different. We won’t. Stay two nights or shut the fuck up, I’m chasing some other lunatic around.
Don’t care, soul has died. Go stay in neighboring town like you threatened to. Sorry to the people who will deal with you.
The top off of the day was my lunatic Uber driver yelling at me about booking.com for the entire ride. Man I didn’t fucking yell at you for all the shitty creeps that have driven me or stalked me at my hotel. I hate these fucks at Booking too, shut the fuck up and drive. Oh and that light was red and we almost died.
Whatever.
Hotel Cartel 
Oy! I do feel like the guest from heaven when I read these. I do have a question, though: you often mention the online reservation services like hotel.com or booking.com and usually you do not have kind words for them. However, they are almost the only game in town when one is looking for a place and, for example, the hotels we have superstar cards for don’t have a hotel there. What are the main issues with these third-party systems from the hotel’s point of view?
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Since I know you’re a guest from heaven. The issue with third party websites is they seriously mess things up sometimes. If someone prepays for a room, thats fine but we get some weirdo ghost credit card number. If the reservation was made incorrectly or the tax isn’t correct it will decline. If your reservation needs to be changed we can’t do anything for you. you literally have to call them because if we change a thing, your ghost card won’t work. Also 3rd party sites are notorious for just giving people handicapped rooms that the guest doesn’t need and is pissed off about once they check in because of the shower. If they’re not pissed off trust me the person who actually REALLY NEEDS that room is pissed because they all got sold.
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Thanks! I do understand that any issues with the reservation have to be resolved with that organization and not yours. I can see how that might be difficult for some of your more challenged visitors. I’m surprised that people would be pissed about getting the handicap room! More room, wider doorways, safer. But that’s me. I’ve never had that happen. I’d welcome it.
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