how do you survive on your own · la la la lobby time · people on the phone · sold out! · Uncategorized

things i wish i could say

Guest: Where is breakfast?

Me: The same goddamned place it was yesterday when I drew you a map to get to it. You can see breakfast, its the big room that has food in it. I can literally see the stupid door from here.

Guest: Where is breakfast?

Me: Hell. It’s in hell.

Guest: What is this shit about the pet policy? You didn’t have a pet policy when I stayed here in 1492

Me: We literally built the building around the pet policy. If you really stay here every year on the exact day every year youve memorized our pet policy.

Guest: what am I supposed to do with my dog if I can’t leave him in the room?

Me: fucking don’t bring your dog. dont come. i don’t care. But we’re charging you every time your dog barks if you do leave him in the room.

Guest: (seeing I’m out of uniform and outside waiting for my ride) What time is breakfast? Where is starbucks? What’s the wifi code?

this actually happened today when I was getting ready to leave

Me: 0_o


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