la la la lobby time · sold out! · Uncategorized

crazy cat banshee bitch lady

I worked a back to back today. Off at 11 last night and in at 8 this morning. I figured it was going to be a shit show with a bunch of fire evacuees and the Big University Winter Graduation and a wedding. I was not prepared for what I ran into.

First thing this morning I find out is so many people were extending that we had already to decide we’re sold out. We thought this would fix everything. Nope.

1-Crazy Cat Banshee Bitch lady. She came down last night and expressed to me she was thinkingabout extending her stay. I’ll be me and she’ll be CCBB.

Me: Ma’am I do suggest if you think you are going to extend, at this point I would just go ahead and do it now, and if you decide to leave in the morning I can just readjust your stay, no charge. I’ll be here in the morning.

CCBB: I must discuss this with my family. I will get back to you.

If she had a Cruella DeVille cloak she would have swooped it. Off she goes to murder puppies and never to be seen again until…

This morning CCBB comes down asking for the extensions on HER rooms. These are HER ROOMS. Lady you never came back during my shift, at least two other people have been at the desk since I walked away last night.

CCBB: THIS IS A NATIONAL FUCKING DISASTER AND YOU GAVE AWAY MY FUCKING ROOMS?

(I wish the above was a paraphrase, it’s not, it’s in my incident report.)

Me: Ma’am I will do the best I can to take care of you but several other people have also asked to extend their stays and…

CCBB: MY HOUSE IS ON FIRE. FUCK THEM. EVICT THEM. I DON’T CARE ABOUT THEM. I’LL CALL YOUR CEO WHERE IS YOUR FUCKING MANAGER. HOW IRRESPONSIBLE ARE THEY TO BE OFF DURING A NATIONAL FUCKING DISASTER?

Me: Ma’am I’m doing the best I can please lower your voice and I will keep working on moving you…

CCBB: I WANT A FREE FUCKING ROOM. I REFUSE TO PAY FOR THIS. MY INSURANCE WILL REFUSE TOO. HOW DARE YOU KICK ME OUT.

Me: MA’AM! I haven’t kicked anyone out YET. Please lower your voice and allow me a few moments to work on your stay, I will do my best but I need you to calm down.

CCBB: FINE.

She slams down a bag and walks off to yell at someone else on her phone.

The bag she slammed down apparently had a passenger.

Bag: Meow?

As we labor over figuring where to put her three rooms without displacing her elderly mother Bag keeps meowing.

Bag: Meow?

Bag: MEOW?

Bag: MEEEOOOOOWWWWW?

Bag: shits

Great so I now have cat shit in my lobby and a crazy lady.

I honestly felt for her at first. I get it, her house is on fire. But no matter how much I fucking curse, you don’t do it in my lobby. Other guests complained and I kept telling my partner, that we should let them go.

But by the power of team work we got them into two more rooms somehow and afterwards, the phone rings. It’s CCBB DEMANDING I move her luggage. Me, personally.

I am a pineapple. I wear a crown, I stand tall, I am sweet on the inside

So I grab a luggage cart and go up to the 3rd floor to be intercepted by houseman and maintenance. Maintenance is a tough looking dude but he’s nicer than hell and we all love him. He takes the cart from me and goes to deal with CCBB. I’m sure she wasn’t expecting him. I don’t care.

In the midst of all this the caretaker for the elderly mother in the group comes down and ass for directions to a pharmacy and when she got back she stopped to thank me by name for understanding she was lost and also just being so gracious and nice through everything.

Nurse: You don’t know it darling but you have a gift at reading people and anticipating their needs and you are gracious even when people are hassling you. It might not seem like much to some people but you should be proud.

And this is the only time today I cried.

how do you survive on your own · la la la lobby time · sold out! · Uncategorized

diaper lady

A very pregnant fire evacuee checked into the hotel this afternoon with her two other kids. At check in she mentioned she was due really soon and may cancel tomorrow night in order to be closer to her own doctor when she gives birth. Understandable and we tell her it’s not a problem and think we aren’t going to see her for the rest of the night.

Wrong. She comes back down a few minutes ago and says “So I think I’m cancelling tomorrow night for sure.” We tell her it’s still okay and she shuffles off and does the most bizarre thing I can think of. This was my train of thought as I saw it happen…

Please explain to me lady why when you have a perfectly good hotel room that you’re paying through the nose for, that you are changing your bare assed baby on one of my lobby chairs? It definitely wasn’t because the baby was fussy about their diaper. If I hadn’t given you THE LOOK, you would have thrown that diaper in my lobby trash can or just left it where you were changing your baby. There is a bathroom literally 10 steps from where you decided to pull your kids ass out. Or you know that room you have. Just a suggestion.

I’m not unsympathetic to pregnancy brain or fire brain or whatever but our lobby chairs can’t be the best place to whip our your kids ass and change them. Especially when the room is less than 100 feet away.

After wiping baby ass all over my lobby and almost leaving the diaper where people sit down to enjoy happy hour during the week she comes back to the desk and says “Do you have any prettier rooms?”

I don’t even know what means. She’s in a standard QQ and none of our rooms are total dogs. She has a total of two children, two adults and a baby thats renting space at Hotel De Uterus with her and we’re sold out due to the fires so the only fancier room would be too small for her since it only has one bed and honestly its the same goddamned room just with 1 king inside of it.

She then says she wants to cancel tonights room too which would have been possible like 6 hours ago when we still had housekeeping on staff. She’s free to leave but she’s still getting charged.

I realize a baby being changed on lobby furniture isn’t the end of the world but babies have these things called “blowouts” where they literally shit up their backs and how am I supposed to know this isn’t one of those situation when I see a woman dangling her baby by its feet to wipe it’s ass?

la la la lobby time · personal · Uncategorized

the roof the roof wait no the state is on fire

So my state is on fire. We are outside of the currently burning zone but that can change at any moment. We have evacuees coming in left and right because…. we’re pet friendly.

Anyway the state is on fire and people are walking up or calling me wondering what would happen if they didn’t evacuate and once they realize someone on the other end of the phone cares about them, they calm down and listen to me.

I’m not that big of a bleeding heart but half of my fucking state is on fire and I have a pet friendly hotel list ready to go if we’re too expensive. You better believe I am hustling people into rooms as fast as I can.

Thoughts and Prayers aren’t going to put this fucking fire out but I’ll be damned sure if you have to stay with me because your entire life is on fire? It’s gonna be stress free.

I can’t do much but I can at least try not to put you and your kitty by the ice machine.

la la la lobby time · Uncategorized

another tale from the other side of the desk

So my husband’s company put us up in a swanky hotel for the staff holiday party. The hotel isn’t far from our house but it’s right on the ocean and I haven’t stayed here so I was excited.

All in all its a pretty nice spot. We did end up in the “cheap seats” with a two queen room on the ground floor and no view, but its amazing because we have 10 pillows. Nice towels. Wifi is pretty good. The pool is epic. The view is amazing. Valet was free. Banquet food was good.

I do find myself watching intently how people are checked in at these higher end places when they don’t know I work in a hotel as well.

Things a normal guest would have bothered them for that they didn’t mention

– how the wifi works. There is no code and it’s easy enough to get on, but I think of my guests and how I would have ended up needing to go to their rooms to show them or something because I neglected to mention there was no password.

-There was no mention of check out time. It wasn’t on the check in slip either. I had to ask the bartender while we were having a drink after the Christmas party. Also not posted in the room or lobby.

-The gal at the desk also didn’t really tell us about what’s offered here, which I’d be tarred and feathered if I didn’t up sell all the shining glories of our property. (There aren’t many, but what we have is an outstanding breakfast and glorious 12n check out time, a fitness center, heated pool, etc) There’s a full on spa here, a fire pit, room service, beach access, etc etc.

-The incidental charge wasn’t mentioned at all. It’s not like we gave a shit but I can just imagine how shocked travelers who come here on a gift card or coupon are when they aren’t told “hey we’re charging you 100 for incidentals.” This place is nice but it’s not beyond coupons nice. So if my incidentals guess is correct,replacing a stolen bathrobe here costs 78 dollars. Having had enough guests lose their shit on me over 10 dollars because I bankrupted them while they stayed on a gift card for a 300 dollar night, I mention this shit to people.

I also don’t know if the water in the room is included but we clearly don’t give a shit.

All in all is always an experience to see how someone else handles the desk. We all hate our jobs some days but I don’t know about you, I still try to put my best foot forward even though we’re supposedly less nice than this hotel.