Day three of being sold out this weekend. I’m alone on desk and jamming out to the acoustic cover songs station on Spotify. The neat thing about this property is the lobby is in no way attached to the rooms. You have to go up stairs or up the elevator to another floor to even get near a room so most of the time I never see a guest once they check in. Half of our rooms are in another building and I’m too far away to harass in person for most people. I may get a complaint call here or there but I send the housemen to deal with those incidents. I no longer have to leg it up to the third or 4th floor to turn someone’s air conditioner on because they can’t follow basic instructions.
This doesn’t mean our clients this weekend haven’t been colorful. There was a state wide beer festival in my city this weekend, along with some festival celebrating strawberries and another festival celebrating tequila. To say my guests were drunk last night would be understatement.
Enter the clown car room.
We put some rooms up on Hotel Tonight because it moved a bunch of rooms and we were 100% sold out by the end of the night because of it. One of the HT guests rented a king ADA room. It was two girls checking in and we figured they were buzzed from the beer festival and didn’t care if they had to share a king bed. Sent them up the elevator to a room in our main building and didn’t think about them again for about 20 minutes. Until we realized that the car they came in had three other dudes in it and had been circling the parking lot for awhile. Again this is 4 in the afternoon and maybe they were local friends giving the girls a chance to freshen up or something.
Except… when they were confident we weren’t paying attention anymore they parked and came in. All carrying a bag. So now this room has 5 people in it. I confer with my coworker who’s been here since the dawn of time and he says “Well if we don’t hear from them again, I’m looking the other way.” I shrugged it off too because hey, it’s not even like we could force them to buy a second room, we didn’t have one and we couldn’t prove the guys were actually going to stay in the room.
Awhile later they all go outside to presumably go out but no it’s to get another friend. Now we’re up to 6 people in the single ADA king room, which let’s face it that roll in shower would probably be pretty sick for a shower orgy or something.
But I had to wonder how many more people they were going to try to fit in this room. If it had been possible I have some corner rooms waaaaaay far away from the ADA rooms which tend to have older people in them that I could have put them in but wasn’t happening on a sold out night.
About an hour later we get a noise complaint about the room. The older couple in the room next door called down and asked us to move the people next to them or at least “ask them to stop their drunken sex orgy please.”
Some further investigation suggested they were smoking weed in their room, since all the rooms have balconies, its pretty easy to find out who’s smoking a room out if they have their slider open.
A few minutes after we asked them to quiet down their drunken sex orgy they ordered an Uber and went out in the night to hopefully never be seen again. Except for I saw them after work at my favorite bar. At least I had time to change clothes after work for once before going out.
Fast forward to last night when I see my Night Auditor who had to deal with these people later in the night. The noise complaints definitely continued as the night went on. These people were drunk as halllleee. Falling down in the elevator, falling asleep in the hallway, sitting out in the hallway eating doughnuts drunk at 4am. After the sleeping guy in the hallway complaint, NA said if he saw or heard any of them again he’d be bouncing them.
The other gem this weekend was a guy who’s debit card wouldn’t authorize because “the bank is closed for the weekend, so I’ll just pay cash.” I explained this wasn’t possible of course and he pulled out his banking app to show me he had money in the account and a pending deposit. I had to very paitently explain to him that his available balance wasn’t enough to even authorize his card. He looked at me like I had three heads and asked me “So wait you want me to go all the way to the fucking bank and put money on my card even though it’s clear that I will have the right amount tomorrow?”
Me: Yes. Bank of the Idiots is on Get the Fuck Out of My Face Street, allow me to draw you a map.
Awhile later two older couples checked in. For some reason the wives came in and did all the checking in and the husbands waited in the car. While my coworker was showing them where their rooms were they got very huffy and indignent that their rooms were on the far end of the property. Well yeah, we’re sold out and you arrived at almost 9pm. There were not location requests in your reservation and nowhere in it did your reservation say “We are fussy old ladies with too much luggage to possibly stay more than four feet from the doors of our rooms with our husbands who apparently can’t carry luggage either.” Look if you’re staying at a brand hotel in a smaller city or a mid tier of the brand, they’re probably not going to have a bellhop. Stop asking me for one. Especially not one that I know you’re not going to tip.
Finally my favorite couple of the night last night were the people with the parking issue. They came in at 10:45 PISSED that they couldn’t park closer to their room because they “are elderly and we should be able to park next to our room.” I asked what room they were in and explained again that we were sold out but we have ample parking. The room they had was in a building that isn’t attached to our main building and they kept insisting that they needed to walk through our building to get to their room and that we had “no damn parking.” I apologized again but if there isn’t a space over on that side of the building, they’ll have to find one in overflow parking. So the man says “What if I were handicapped?”
Well I’d imagine you’d have a handicapped pass to park with then sir.