how do you survive on your own

The Cancer Hoarder

About a month ago I was about to get off work when I got called by a nice man inquiring about two rooms, one pet friendly and one of our largest rooms as his wife was going to be going through Chemo Therapy at our local hospital and his daughter was going to be coming along with her service dog. They weren’t sure of how long they would need to stay. Originally the daughter and dog were only going to be there for three days and the man and his wife, you know with cancer would be with us for possibly two weeks.

We are not an extended stay property by any means. And we are expensive for anyone staying that long. But my GM is a pretty nice lady and will sometimes average out rates for people as our rates change daily. So we check these people in and don’t think anything about it.

Until they keep extending. And somehow keep getting around having their cards authorized for the extended stays. It started getting to the point of us trying to track these people down to take payment from them, only to have this man either slip out unnoticed or sneak out the back every time he went “to the hospital” and when we’d be calling to tell him one of his various credit cards declined and we needed payment, he’d be at the hospital or just wouldn’t answer the phone or door in the room. He’d appear usually when I wasn’t there with a credit card he’d just transferred money into and authorize for a few more days and disappear.

In the 29 days he stayed with us only one person ever saw the daughter. We may have seen the wife with “the cancer” but she by all accounts didn’t look like she had cancer.

As if the credit card shit wasn’t enough, let me tell you about the rest of the joys of room 2X0 and 2X4.

They had a privacy sign up on both doors. I kept telling everyone when they complained about not having been able to get into the rooms that we legally can go in every three days but most times when anyone tried that, the bolt was on.

Then came the complaint about the bird noises. Mr Cancer had two bird cages in his room. We’re pet friendly but you know birds kind of require to not be in a hotel. It’s not like you can go walk the birds. You’re violating pet policy every time you leave the birds alone in the room.

The daughters service dog was a chihuahua supposedly trained to sense seizures. It had fleas and went into both rooms.

Both rooms, when we got them to open the doors were stacked full of rubbermaid tubs of whatever.

They never walked the dog. Almost no one ever saw the dog.

Huge garbage bags would appear in our trash cans that weren’t put there by housekeeping.

When the rooms were opened, the smell almost knocked my head of housekeeping over. Bird shit, dog shit, probably people shit…

We finally got permission from above to throw these people out the day before they would have become “residents,” and been tax free from that point.

Cancer man ended up getting a uhaul to move all their shit out. The two rooms are out of order TFN because we honestly can’t be in them long enough to assess the damage because of the smell. They stole the duvets and some towels and there is probably some damage from the birds to the curtains because there wouldn’t be that much bird shit around if they were caged at all times.

But at least they are gone.

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