So last night started off pretty tame for a Friday night. I was doing a 3-11 and most of my interactions had to do with this Corvette club staying with us. I had an inordinate amount of people wanting to see a room before they rented it and I assumed it was due to the rates but whatever.
I even found out that the guy in 2XX and his mother in 2X1 finally left after living with us for two months. Don’t worry though we have another kook in 22X and 21X with his wife, daughter, epilepsy dog and no shit a big ass cage full of birds and he’s been with us for two weeks with no sign of leaving.
But none of those people compared to The Rich Man, who pulled up right in front of my front door in a Porsche Cayanne. He comes in, in golf clothes and a hat from a very nice resort that shares it’s name with a famous snack cracker and the character on the Fresh Prince of Bel-Aire.
He’s a walk in and he wants a room and he wants it for a good rate because he’s a superbutthole elite turd level member.
I run over what room types we have and pull up his membership.
He’s bargain basement level member but hey he must belong to so many rewards programs he forgot so I’ll help a dude out.
Me: Well sir, we’re sold out of our king rooms aside from our deluxe rooms, but I’d be happy to give you a deluxe room for the 3A regular king price.
RD: And that’s the best you can do? I’m a super diamond butthole member and that price is still high.
Me: Yes sir but it is a holiday weekend and those are the rates.That is the best rate.
RD: Fine we’ll take it.
And I give them one of my favorite DK’s and send them on their way.
He comes back awhile later and steps in front of another customer that I’m currently helping and starts in again.
RD: That room is out in the middle of nowhere, is that really the best rate you can give me for that room?
Me: Sir I’m currently assisting this guest, but to answer your question, yes.
So I return to helping my other guest and he stands there tapping his foot like I’m going to suddenly give him a better rate when at this point I just want to raise his rate.
After I give the other guest their keys and wish them a good night, Rich Dude starts up again.
RD: If you can’t give me a better rate, I need more towels. Go get them for me.
Without breaking eye contact I just reach over for my walkie talkie and call my houseman and ask him to take towels to this room, since I know he’s up there anyway. Rich Dude threw up his hands and walked away.
Bitch I’m not going to leave my desk to personally get you some towels, go take your sourpuss cheap ass back up to your room. Maybe I put you in the middle of nowhere because I don’t want to see your bitchy face for the rest of the night. Be gone.