how do you survive on your own · la la la lobby time · people on the phone · third party bookings · Uncategorized

the shitacaine

So someone is smoking in my second floor indoor hallway. It’s California it’s illegal. I have one guest who we’re going to end up having to comp or some shit tomorrow who keeps complaining about smoke smell and I honestly can’t tell which room its coming from because I’m pretty sure some cheesedick is smoking in the fucking hallway. I am going to throw them the fuck out if I catch them. It’s bad enough when they smoke in their room but they’re smoking up other people’s rooms. What the fuck is wrong with people?

Oh I know, the entire nation of France is here right now and all of them are pissed off. You know why? Because hotelbeds.com ignores black out dates and our system didn’t take the reservations so we have all these people we’re trying to get ghost cards for and they’re literally coming in groups of 10. They put another family who paid for three rooms into two rooms and luckily that family was cool. We’ve had today shut off since LAST FUCKING YEAR. What the fuck, it’s not like we can just tell them to toddle on back over to France. Creative solutions and many stupid irritating phone calls were made and the (rightfully) pissy French Army is back in bed.

But then there was the Irish guy and his fucked up reservation. And the fucked up Dutch reservation. And basically I feel like the whole of Europe is here and they are all pissed off. Vouchers were supposed to be turned off and they weren’t and our system bounced some of them back. Fuck my life.

Room 2XX wanted to get in on the second floor action and call and complain that her room only showers and the bathtub part doesn’t work. How do I do this simple assed thing I do at home every day? I don’t know how the fuck do you do it when I’m not here to do tech support on a fucking shower? Want someone to come up and help you? No? Shit then just keep banging around until you most likely flood my second floor, maybe it will wash the smoke out from the smoking asshole we can’t seem to catch.

Then there is the phone:

Phone: Do you have any rooms for tonight?

Me: No we are completely sold out.

Phone:Do you have any rooms for tonight?

Me: No we are completely sold out.

Wash, Rinse, Wipe hands on pants. #pleasekillme

Phone: Do you have any rooms for Saturday night? (This phone call sounded like it was coming from inside of blender or you know the fairgrounds)

Me: Yes but there is a 2 night minimum so you will have to book for Friday / Saturday or Saturday/ Sunday

Phone: What are the rates?

Me: *I paraphrase* Four arms and eight legs sir.

Phone: That’s the best you can do?

Me: Yes.

Same dude called back 4 minutes later and tried to get my coworker to give him a better rate. No.

I work a turn around tonight too, so I get to deal with all these people again tomorrow.

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