I don’t know what the fuck was in the water yesterday but everyone was batshit crazy.
I opened yesterday and immediately there was the Ant Lady. She came up and started yelling at me about a coworker of mine and whatever. I hadn’t even had time to open the book of horrors but her story was this:
AL: I had ants in my room and no one cared! I want to see YOUR BOSS.
I’m the only person there and I don’t even care about her ants to be honest. I have ants at my house too. Its hot they’re thirsty so they come inside
Me: Ma’am I’m sorry about that experience, was anything done to fix the situation?
AL: I don’t want you talk to me I want you to listen to my needs. NightTime Coworker was rude and dismissive and I felt bullied by him to take a discount.
Me: (I really really should have had time for caffiene before this) You felt bullied? Did someone physically threaten you?
AL: NOOOOOOO. BUT I AM BEING TOLD BY BOY (oh now we’re using this kind of language, okay) AT DESK. BOY AT DESK DOESN’T LOOK FOR ME A NEW ROOM, SAYS YOU ARE OUT OF ROOMS BUT NICE MAID FOUND ONE FOR US.
Me: Okay let me look at the computer..
AL: NO YOU ARE NOT EMPTHASIZING WITH ME. MY KIDS HAVE ASTHMA THEY CAN’T BE AROUND ANTS.
insert what the fuck are you talking about thought bubble
Me: So ma’am I’m happy to get listen to your story because you feel like you have been treated horribly and try to make it up to you in any way but if you could give me the basic facts so I can relay them to my manager or report them to anyone who can fix that room it’d be helping a future guest and me to help you.
AL: THERE WERE ANTS IN THE ROOM. HE SAY THERE ARE NO ROOMS. THERE WAS A ROOM. HE IS A LIAR AND HE BULLIED ME INTO TAKING ANOTHER DISCOUNT AND THAT IS DISREPECTFUL. I DO NOT WANT THIS SHAME DISCOUNT.
this is where I give up
Me: Ma’am I am sorry that you felt disrespected and I’m sorry your stay was not to your standards…
AL: AND NICE LADY STOLE MY IPAD PEN.
Me: I’m sure if you left it in the room it is on the housekeeper who helped you to the new room’s cart and as soon as I can get someone down there I’ll find it when someone is here who can open that area. Would you like to wait in the breakfast area and enjoy some food until the boss gets here?
AL: WE DON’T WANT BREAKFAST WE WANT SYMPATHY!
At this point I told again that we apologize and someone will right this situation but if she wants to talk to the boss she can wait in breakfast area or their room. She says I have finally showed her some sympathy (seriously what in the fuck) and she leaves.
My dad drops by because he’s never seen where I work and he wanted to bring me a poster before he left town. My dad has a beard and is wearing a Sub Pop records hat and shorts but seeing someone else in the lobby with me and the phones that wont shut up this lady comes back over. My boss gets there about the same time so she figures out my dad is not the person she now wants to scream at for 20 minutes. My dad leaves and my boss gets out of the bathroom and bam Ant Lady.
Same conversation happens all over again. Only longer because my boss is having ZERO of it after awhile. We’d literally already done everything that could be done and she was threatening to write the company and write a bad review and my boss was frustrated about all the things and finally just comped her room and told her to leave.
But not before her email address had an accident in the system. You’re not getting a survey lady, fuck you very much.