how do you survive on your own · la la la lobby time · people on the phone · personal

today on the phone

So today the phone was providing me with so much entertainment I took it out into the parking lot and went office space on it with an empty paint can….

Okay I didn’t. But I did endure this.

I’ll be me and he’ll be Mr Barstow because clearly the drugs had kicked in…

Me: Thank you for calling Casa De Pineapple, This is (blah blah blah) How can I help you?

MrB: So I am on the (large interstate somewhere on the left coast) and I saw a billboard for the Dismays Inn and I wanted to know if you price match?

pause the large billboard he was passing is at least 3 hour away in another county and I already want to tell him the answer is no but my boss is standing next to me so I played nice.

Me: Well this isn’t a Dismays Inn but…

MrB: IT SAYS IT’S 55 DOLLARS A NIGHT! HOT DAMN CAN I GET A ROOM IN YOUR HOTEL FOR THAT PRICE?

Me: Sir our going rate tonight is nearly 3 times that amount and we do not price match with hotels from other counties as the demand for tourism in the area you are currently in may not match up to ours. However I could give you an Old Guys R Us discount or something from the Auto Club if you have either of those?

MrB: No. What I want to know is does the Dismays Inn have to honor this hot deal no matter where I go?

Me: Sir I don’t think I can answer that as I do not work for the parent company of the Dismays Inn or any of their subsidiaries and I actually do not believe that the city of Pineapple has a property with that chain here, but I’d be glad to google that for you.

I google and find out that the company does own a Fauxmada in town but their rates aren’t in that 55 dollar range but lord is he welcome to try them instead of wasting my time.

Me: Sir it does appear that the Fauxmada is the same company as the Dismays Inn in Pineapple, so I would be happy to give you their number if you’d like. please bitches over at the Fauxmada, just take this man off my phone

MrB: That’d be swell lady. But I gotta ask you, because you sound like a girl who gets around… have you ever stayed there?

Me: No Mr. B. I live in this city and I have a home of my own.

MrB: Yeah but you sound like a girl who gets around so have you ever visited a friend staying there or something?

Me: I assure you I get nowhere. Would you like their number so you can find out what their company policy and rates are because I quite frankly do not work there and can not provide service for a hotel I do not work at.

MrB: I beeetttttt you can.

Me: This conversation is terminated. Goodbye

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