how do you survive on your own · la la la lobby time · personal · Uncategorized

the one where i really almost lost my shit

Yesterday was my Friday and trust me when I say I needed it to be Friday. It was supposed to be a really really chill night but nope.

Surprise, Motherfuckas, we’re 5 rooms away from a sell out and everyone has their “I suck” pants on.

I get there to be greeted by an insanely busy lobby and a request to make a bunch of welcome bags that I never had any time to do.

Within minutes of getting strapped in to my uniform, I had a guest yelling at my partner in the lobby. He was trying to crowd in front of 7 people because he couldn’t find the tv remote in the room he was already checked in to.

Wait what? When it came to almost blows I stepped out from behind the desk and escorted this idiot and his granddaughter to their room to go look for the offending remote. On arrival the wife let me know they had found the remote. But then the husband berated me in the hall for a hot minute because he said his keys were acting up. Trust me, remember the guy from 159, he’s gonna be a problem later on.

I get back and we have a brief moment for me to check on coffee. Apparently this was going to be the second chapter to my shit fuck day because I started up a pot of decaf and walked away to check on the shrieking phones, steady stream of guests, etc.

Fast forward to happy hour. Our attendant hadn’t arrived yet so I went to start setting up except she showed while I was doing it so she got mad and then directed my attention to the coffee machine which was doing something shitty… as it was overflowing or backing up or something.

I’ve made thousands of pots of coffee and I haven’t fucked one up in awhile. I pulled the airpot off and it was a 1/4 full. I went to pull the filter thingy off and was promptly splashed with coffee because the filter part was clogged with god knows what and it went all over my uniform. And burned me too but whatever, I actually finally smelled like coffee and sadness. And there weren’t spare unis laying around.

Cue to me trying to check in a regular guest while trying not to whimper about my superficial coffee burns. Guest started being kind of fake jokingly rude and I cried. I mean I’m standing there in my undershirt trying to check this guy in and he’s giving me shit and then all of a sudden wants to know why my attitude sucks.

To regular guests credit he bought me dinner later when he realized he was being a fuckface so I won’t dog him too hard.

But then 159 comes back up. His keys don’t work. Since my coworker was about to fight him the last time we saw him, I made him new keys and ran over to his room. Showed him how the keys work and already saw three things that made me want to bounce him: 5 people in a 2Q, with an illegal cot, two dogs with one pet fee and this guy is already a fuck face.

Bouncing someone however when you have other people on the rental death panel isn’t the easiest. So asshole lived to annoy longer.

After noting the log book, the dude comes back up to the desk to “Ask where to eat for dinner” and really it was just to engage my coworker in another fight. I tried stepping in again and got shooed away by my coworker and the fuckhead guest and again we had other guests in the lobby besides this asshead so I attended to them. 159 leaves and my coworker is fuming.

My coworker gets off work and 159 rears his ugly head on the phone.

159: I GODDAMNED PAID OVER 400 LIKE 450 A NIGHT FOR THIS ROOM AND YOU SHOULD UNDERSTAND THAT I’M FUCKING FRUSTRATED THAT THIS ROOM KEY DOESN’T EVER FUCKING WORK AND IM ON VACATION WITH MY GRANDBABIES.

how are you calling me from inside the room if your door key is THAT bad? Also you’re here for one night at 165 something prepaid, please fuck yourself, I can see exactly what you paid for the fucking room and exactly how you paid for it. Shit I know where you live, don’t try to lie to me about how much you paid for a room.

Me: Well sir I’d be happy to run over some new keys but as I advised earlier..

159: I don’t have a fucking cell phone and nothing else you’ve done has fucking helped one bit..

I’m not proud.. I lost my temper.

Me: SIR AT BEST I CAN SEND SOMEONE OVER TO LOOK AT YOUR DOOR AND BRING YOU FRESH KEYS BUT I WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU ARE AWARE THAT YOU’VE BEEN WARNED SEVERAL TIMES ABOUT YOUR BEHAVIOR AND YOU ARE ON EXTREMELY THIN ICE WITH THIS PROPERTY AT THIS POINT.

159: Just give me the fucking keys.

I slammed the phone down and my housewoman who is not someone who I’d like to cross asked me about what was going on and we decided to trade, I’d take shampoo and conditioner to a room in the main building. Yeah these greasy dudes had been at the pool at all day but at least all they wanted was shampoo.

My housewoman cameback from asshole in 159’s room with two pearls of wisdom.

1-“THAT MOTHERFUCKER IS TOO STUPID TO WORK A GOTTDAMN DOOR WITH INSTRUCTIONS ON THE KEY AND THE GODDAMNNED DOOR LOCK. HE’S BEEN STICKING IT IN BACKWARDS AND NOT EVEN DOING THE FULL SWIPE. BITCH.

2-Let’s just kick him out. He sucks.His dogs are annoying and there’s definitely an illegal bed in there or they’re building fucking forts. What the hell is wrong with everyone?

I got the fuck out late. I had to have my husband bring me a non uniform shirt to wear after the coffee incident. I cried. I considered going to the dog park and getting some doggy deposits for this fuckers door but I’m a pro.

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