Yesterday a woman came to check in at my hotel traveling from Scottland, alone.
There was a reason for that. She was well….
I’ll be me. She’ll be Scottish Broad.
Me: Welcome to the (this place) Hotel, How can I help you today?
Scottish Broad: SCOTTISH BROAD!
Me: Yes, so you have a reservation.
SB: I’d better.
Me (in my head) Wouldn’t you want to be sure about this before leaving the country?: Well ma’am if I could just take a peek at your ID and credit card I can get started…
SB: IT’S ALREADY PAID FOR!
Her voice is like someone taking a piece of glass and running it over a cheese grater. With an accent. And when she said it was paid for, I knew… fucking Expedia.
Me: Yes ma’am I’m sure it is, but however I can’t check you in without looking at your ID just for your safety of course and this hotel requires an actual credit card on file in case of damages… (She starts to interrupt me, but never the less , I persisted) AND while I know YOU won’t damage the room we have for you, it’s hotel policy and I’m sure YOU understand, IT’S NOT PERSONAL.
SB reluctantly digs into her fanny pack and I finally pull up her reservation. Other than this is an Expedia reservation there is ZERO information on it otherwise. No requests. Nothing.
Me: Okay ma’am we have you in XXX and it’s over here and…
A shrill noise coming from SB interrupts me..
SB: IS THAT A GROUND FLOOR ROOM? I SPECIFICALLY TOLD THE PERSON AT CENTRAL RESERVATIONS I WOULD ONLY STAY IN A TOP FLOOR ROOM, HOW DO I HAVE A GROUND FLOOR ROOM?
Me: Ma’am you didn’t speak to Central Reservations according to your reservation, your reservation was made through Expedia, who did not put in that request for you. And ma’am we are sold out of your room type and the room that was assigned to you is the last room of your room type that is available.
SB: Rubbish. Expedia IS Central Reservations.
Me (internally screaming, I am so glad insane Scottish woman that knows how my job works better than I do thinks that Expedia is our Central Reservations.): Ma’am for this room type this is the best I can do at this point, we are completely sold out and I do not have another room in YOUR ROOM TYPE at this moment.
SB: So I suppose I’ll have to complain DAILY, HOURLY EVEN until you can move me to the room that I requested and you blatantly refuse to give me.
Yes lady I am refusing to give you a room I don’t have. Please shut up. If my manager wasn’t here you’d be gone by now because you are going to be a giant pain in the ass for four fucking days and I am already tired of you.
Luckily my manager came out of his cave at this moment and looked it up and we ended up, upgrading this screechy woman to another room of a different type that she should have paid more for but because it’s not pet friendly we don’t get a lot of requests for. Scottish Broad glared at me and thanked the “nice boy in the tie” as she was bellowing into her cell phone on the way to her room for “doing his job”
Yo, hold my purse, Ima about to take my earrings off…