ghost guest · how do you survive on your own · the brotherhood of the keys · Uncategorized

the time I gave a tour to a new hire…

Yes you read that right, I spent one of my last days in the hotel training the new FDM because they don’t know our operating system or anything. I’m literally training someone to be a training manager.

To be honest training a manager of any kind is well above my pay grade. But it was her first day and various other people who could have helped with this called in sick. But I play for the team even if I’m leaving the team.

So instead of boring her to death with Opera, I walked her around the property which was something that ended up being rushed for me when I started. I just sort of figured the place out myself so I showed her the key maker, the blackbox programmer, and each and every one of our room types. It should be seared into your brain what kind of rooms you have.

So some highlights of our tour included:

-This is the elevator room, everyone hates it, don’t put anyone in there if you don’t have to or they ask for it.

-This is the ice machine room, this room repeats everywhere in the building in this exact spot. 1st floor is especially shitty because the laundry room, pool entrance and vending and maid closet are all here. This room is hell.

-Ding! This is the ghost elevator. Don’t fuck with it unless you have to go to housekeeping or to the Room of All Requirements aka the Dungeon.

-The mini room of requirements. One of our former managers didn’t like going to the dungeon for amenities so when you’re stranded at the desk alone and someone needs a thing you can just run down the hall. Also there are about 500 tampons in here but there aren’t any downstairs in the dungeon. Men won’t stock them.

-The room of furnished requirements… microwaves, rollaways, cribs, jumper cables. We do not have a shuttle.

-Double queen room looks like this. Oh by the way a ghost lives in this room and that’s why this floor is numbered funny. Don’t worry, just believe every crazy thing a guest tells you. And don’t go in here if you don’t need to.

-Crazy fuck off suite, this is where all the special snowflakes want to stay but since we only have one, try not to use this to appease assholes for something. Mostly because people actually book this one.

-Jr fuck off suite, yes they have a wetbar . And two tvs. yes they’re next to each other, I don’t get it either.

-The Fairytale suite, seriously no one ever pays for this tiny apartment. Use it to buy off snowflakes. Be prepared for the people who do book it to be cheap and unreasonable. Oh by the way this is the secret escape out of the second floor bathroom door.

-Storage closet. Nothing is in there. At all you can cry in there, no one has opened it the entire time I worked here.

-Roof access for when you want to hurl yourself off a building. LOL I’m kidding, I literally don’t know why we can go on the roof.

-The room of food requirements. This is where we keep the…. nope someone moved all the plastic silverware since I went on vacation.

-Pool. It’s outside. Here’s how you open it. Here’s how you lock it. Clean the deck at your own will while working at night because it’s not on the check list.

-This is another closet, it is empty, you can cry in here too.

 

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