how do you survive on your own · la la la lobby time · people on the phone · personal · sold out! · third party bookings · Uncategorized

The absolute most absurd guest I’ve ever had and a surprise cameo by my cousin.

I get to work yesterday and clock in around noon and start trying to make a dent in the chore list. Never happened. Like 80 people trying to check in early with another 4 or 5 late check outs and we were sold out the night before. Getting a clean room at noon is not fucking happening.

Had a large group of South Americans trying to check in forever and kept having to borrow the second houseman to translate for me that they yes had reservations but the rooms weren’t ready. Finally we had at least two of them clean and one of the daughters who was bilingual showed up and was able to help me explain a little easier what was going on. They were super chill about it though, they were just four rooms of people in a hotel that was having issues getting its shit together.

Phones are going nuts and then… at 2:55pm Daddy’s Little Special Snowflake showed up.

When I informed her that housekeeping was still working on rooms and it might be about 1/2 an hour or so in order to get her into the room she had reserved (a single queen, they are usually ExHoImOnAHotOrbitalBoat rooms and usually the hardest people to get to check out, and the rooms are usually thrashed) the first thing she says is “BUT YOU PROMISED ME A 3PM CHECK IN AND IT IS 3PM”

Oh boy here we go because trust me it doesn’t stop there.

Me: I understand your frustration ma’am (girl is 21, but I didn’t know this because I hadn’t even looked at her ID yet, just noticed we didn’t have her room type ready yet.) but we were sold out unexpectedly sold out last night and as a result it is taking longer to clean the rooms today. You’re welcome to make yourself at home in our lobby, use the business center or pool area but your room should be ready in just a bit.

fun fact, we only have 4 of this fucking room type. This is going to come into play later

DSS: I expect to be discounted for this inconvenience.

Me: Ma’am I do understand that this is frustrating for you bu..

DSS: No this is a flat out lie and I expect to be compensated.

Me: (internally using a melon baller to give myself a lobotomy): Well I can start your check in process and put a rush on your room but first I need to have a peek at your ID and the credit card you intend to check in with.

DSS: No this is another lie and you are inconveniencing me yet again. I spoke to someone over the phone and you are using my father’s credit card to pay for my reservation, they said it was fine.

Me: While I understand that your father has granted you the use of his credit card, there is not an authorization form on file for you or even a note that you would not be presenting the card at check in. I can not check you in until I can speak to your father and explain the credit card authorization form. Do you remember who you talked to?

DSS: This is a lie. You are a liar. My dad okayed it over the phone. I demand a room this instant and I will be discounted for this.

At this point I just wanted to punch this bitch in the face or kick her out but hey, new managers and I don’t know how comfortable they are with my GTFO threshold. Trust me its very high and she was already about to pole vault over it but I just called on the divine powers of the hotel’s ghost to keep me from choking this devil out at the front desk.

Me: Ma’am, I can radio housekeeping to put a rush on your room but I need…

DSS: NO. I requested a quiet room on a higher floor and you are taking too long and I want another discount for you disagreeing with me.

fuck my life

Me: Okay well until I speak with your father I can not discuss discounts or anything as you seem to not have a valid form of payment. If you would just provide me with your father’s contact information we can straighten out what must be an error on our part (it wasn’t) and get you checked in.

DSS: FINE! Here’s my dad’s number but he’s at work and if he’s mad I expect another discount.

At this point I have several people lined up in the lobby waiting to check in and I’m looking around for another higher up or my partner who was now late for work and really should be helping me. Nah this place is a ghost town. Just me and this crazy bitch and a shit ton of people wanting to check in. I take down her information, direct her to the business center, invite her to take a cookie, have some coffee whatever but I can’t do anything until I figure out this payment situation.

Mercifully my partner for the night shows up finally and I can help some people but when DSS saw someone at the desk, she came back and started in on my coworker. This is the guy who has less patience than I do and thinks he is my boss. (He’s not) And DSS is starting in on her shit with him and he picks up the phone in front of her and calls the dad who immediately says she needs to use her own card, he’s not authorizing shit. I’d say this was vindication but it gets worse. My coworker just to get this nut case out of the lobby upgrades her to a king instead of a queen about the same time I have a guest come in who Central Reservations has totally fucked over. Randomly this is my cousin but I really had no idea he was coming in, he normally stays in another city near by. He’d reserved a king and central reservations had him reserved in another city. I was able to get it fixed with Central Reservations and give him the rate he was going to get in another one of our brands but this crazy lady was just given our last king. My cousin was cool about the whole getting a queen bed thing but I was curious how that would have flown with another guest. We could have two crazy people at the desk screaming about bullshit in all honesty.

The day goes on and DSS calls MULTIPLE TIMES to complain about her room. Some highlights included

-You said these rooms have kitchens. (I didn’t say that, no one who works here would say that, what in he fuck are you even talking about.) HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO EAT I HAVE A JOB INTERVIEW TOMORROW I WANT AN ADDITIONAL DISCOUNT BECAUSE YOU LIED TO ME.

-I DON’T WANT THIS ROOM. It faces the pool and how am I supposed to get any sleep with the pool outside? I have a job interview tomorrow. (No shit, the whole hotel knows you have a job interview. Seriously. By the way you’re three fucking floors up from the pool. Close your window and shut the fuck up. You displaced one of our regulars who loves that room and actually does stay with us all the time, 99 times this year so far and they didn’t fucking freak out.)

-I want a discount because this room is larger than the one I asked for. This is not a quiet room.

-I want to move rooms. (Tough shit I literally have zero rooms to move you to. You call me one more time and you can move hotels except every other goddamn hotel in town is sold out.)

-HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE READY FOR MY JOB INTERVIEW IF YOUR BUSINESS CENTER IS IN THE LOBBY? I WANT A DISCOUNT. (Seriously she said this and I’m wondering where she thinks a business center belongs in the first place.)

-WHY ARE THERE PEOPLE IN THE BREAKFAST ROOM? I WANT A DISCOUNT. (This was around 5pm and we lend our breakfast room out to the Girl Scouts one day a month, we love them and they clean up after themselves and have quiet respectful meetings and don’t even drink the free coffee. We also are not serving breakfast at this time, this girl is just batshit crazy.)

I finally went to my new GM and my AGM and was like “If I have to listen to this girl say one more thing I am going to kick her out and pretend we actually have a DNR list because I’m going to get arrested if she doesn’t knock it off, I have too many other guests to attend to, to be answering her room calls every five seconds when she thinks of something new to be pissed about.”

You’d think at this point it would stop right? Ha.


I noped out and went to lunch. Fuck all that.

After lunch I came back to more chaos, every single hotel in town is sold out. 100% full completion. Like seriously there is no room for anyone and I’m begging my bosses to leave the last ADA room vacant for someone who actually needs it and they say no of course and then I’m begging them to at least CLOSE the online reservations. They say no and in walks a family who’s frustrated and tired and had made an expedia reservation and this ADA queen is the only room we have left and there are three of them.

Sweet as pie though even though their son who was like four was complaining that their entire trip had been crap because “nothing works” He’s four so I’m gonna cut the kid some slack. They actually didn’t care they were getting the ADA room and I offered at that point to make up a rollaway for him because the room is big enough and the kid got a kick out of the “magic bed” and the lower closet shelves in the ADA room, so sometime things work little man. The mom hugged me.

I don’t know when or if the other mom who was insane saying she needed a two queen for her and her newborn before we sold out ever showed up. I talked her down to another ADA queen we had before we sold out if we put a crib in it. I had to answer 90 questions about the crib and listen to her complain about traveling with a newborn on the phone for over 20 minutes but I never saw her.

I clocked out late and went out to hang with my cousin. Just another day of living the dream.


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