how do you survive on your own · la la la lobby time · Uncategorized

You there! Girl!

So last night I get called up to a suite that some Snowflakes are staying in because they can’t work their air conditioner. They’re already in a shitty mood about this but I know for a fact that if the air conditioner was actually broken it would have an emergency fix notice in. Like we fix problems in our suites before any other rooms because, Snowflakes.

It’s not broken. They just hadn’t bothered to look at the fucking thermostat on the wall that is next to the wall unit and it was, set on off. I get it, you want to bang on the disabled buttons on the air conditioner like some toddler until it does what you want, but it doesn’t work that way since you’re in a suite. In a regular room you’d still have one of our old units that we’ve taken the knobs off of to avoid these bullshit “maintenance” calls.

So I show them how the thermostat works, wondering how they handle climate control issues when at home and they start in on me on the water saving program we have that you guessed it, gets you EXTRA SNOW FLAKE POINTS if you don’t utilize housekeeping. They asked me like 5 times if they hung the request for a DON’T CLEAN MY ROOM BECAUSE WE WANT MOAR MAGIC BEANS Stay correctly and to be truthful they had, but they didn’t use the key blocker card so their room got cleaned anyway.

It’d be tragic except when I got back to the desk, I went into the MAGIC BEANS program and gave them their fucking beans. So they got free beans to use in order to make someone else’s life a living fucking hell.

Fast forward to tonight. Mr and Mrs WeDontSayThankYou Snowflake are coming back to the desk and they are pissed. Because their room was cleaned.

Of course this all starts falling on my head as I’m filling coffee.

Mrs S: YOU. YOU THERE. GIRL YOU WERE IN MY ROOM LAST NIGHT!

Reminder at this exact moment I don’t know which assholes these are, I was in hella rooms last night and 90% of people were sans make up and in their PJ’s.

Me: I might have been?

MrsS: YOU YOU CAME TO THE ROOM TO FIX THE BROKEN AIR CONDITIONER GIRL AND YOU LIED ABOUT FIXING MY POINTS.

Me: Oh right, you’re in our first floor suite. (all of our doors look the same so saying this isn’t giving their room number out across the lobby.)

Mrs S: YES WE ARE IN (BELLOWS ROOM NUMBER) WHICH IS THE JUNIOR EXECUTIVE SUITE BECAUSE WE ARE FUCKING STICKS UP OUR ASS LEVEL SNOWFLAKES. (I paraphrase but she literally SCREAMED her room number at me, also there is no such thing as a junior exec suite, she just wanted to add extra words to what that room is called. It’s a nice room but executive isn’t annnnny where in it’s description.)

Me: Yes ma’am I came down after turning your fully functioning air conditioner on and added 500 magic beans to your account for the Don’t Wash My Sheets program.

MrsS: THEN WHY IN THE FUCK WAS THE HELP IN MY ROOM?

Me: Clearly there was a miscommunication between housekeeping and the notes we added to your reservation. However your magic beans have been deposited in you account and you will also be receiving beans for your stay sometime this evening when they reconcile the bills.

At this point I turn back to the coffee station and I hear my coworker saying “Oh I’ll report this to management, don’t worry. They’ll talk to her.”

I walk over and calmly assure them that there is nothing to report to the overlords. They received their magic beans AND got a fresh clean room today anyway. It’s a super bonus fuckface snowflake member benefit. However we did have some new housekeepers training today so we’ll make sure to go over that process with them tomorrow. Thank you have a good night.

As for my co-worker… He’ll have management speak to me about doing my fucking job right? Fuck you. Seriously the HK that had that room today, today was her first day. And I wasn’t rude to this incredibly offensive and awful woman who was trying to scam us for more magic beans. I hope her fucking shitty kid blows his college interviews because four years of this cheapskate Snowflake visiting us sounds like I died and went to hell and someone forgot to tell me.

Annnnd I open tomorrow.

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