Six hours until I am on vacation….
So yesterday I woke up and the sun shining, the birds chirping and was in a mood that felt like nothing could stop me. I arrived at the hotel with a smile and boy none of this lasted very long.
Apparently Tuesdays in Cambodia are the day without managers except the new one who doesn’t know how to work our system, but don’t worry she’s not there either. It’s just New Girl who Ghost Guest doesn’t care for. I like the New Girl and it’s always nice to see her face and she immediately greets me with (at 10 minutes till I even clock in) with “I thought you were going to call out sick again and leave me here.”
Turns out the last time I called in she worked with our other coworker who’s identity I’d give away if I told you what my husband calls him he was so bloody awful to her and needed to vent and also ask me how I work with this guy almost every single night. (It’s true I’m pretty much the only person he’s ever scheduled with and he can be a bit much but hey I’m just here to work.) He apparently has a gripe against every single person who works with us, myself included, save for the guy who’s about to quit and I guess said some unkind things to the New Girl to her face and spent most of their shift together going over the log book and hassling her about issues she had “caused” him and she was really pissed about it. But she also doesn’t want to take it to the man as it were and she just wanted to know if I dealt with this when I worked with him. Lordy.
Anyway she leaves and I make a mental note to write her some tips because she’s working the Psycho Shift for me tomorrow so I can go on vacation. I find out that we have a tour bus coming in and have multiple room issues. Big Suite wants to check in early and has all the right reasons and is being nice but Head of Housekeeping hasn’t gone to inspect his room yet and I ended up doing it. Room was empty, dude was happy, checked them on in.
Highest of the high level snowflake checks in and he’s actually really cool. His wife is cool. His wife’s service dog is cool. Problem is there isn’t a reservation for him. He called and talked to someone on the phone and they didn’t take his reservation down at all. He wants a suite but we’re sold out. I pull this guy’s profile up and yeah he ONLY stays with our brands. He had just come from one of our higher tier brands the night before and like he’d even gone to the land down Under with his magic rewards club beans. So because he wasn’t being a prick we got to play the “Who made their reservation through third party/isn’t actually paying for a suite and has no idea they were getting one” game,and found him a junior suite and bounced someone else down to a king room. He didn’t even ask me the price on the room, wasn’t concerned. Took my map and wasn’t even pissed this newly found suite wasn’t ready yet. Said he and the wife would go do some shopping and be back to check in after lunch.
Things go smoothly other than someone who was supposed to do a room move earlier in the morning being late to move their luggage, find out we have a group coming in that I didn’t know about and my coworker who I mentioned New Girl has a problem with is clocking in.
The phones are going psycho all day. People are trying to get rooms for this certain weekend next month that we’re so sold out for that even the Pope couldn’t get a room from me. My coworkers presidential Man Crush couldn’t get a room. We have no rooms and this is the majority of our calls, they’re explaining this to people and it doesn’t matter what level they are, we can not be bribed, we can’t be swayed with tears, etc.
When the tour bus gets there and checks in without too much fuss I know something isn’t right. I’ve checked in like 4 regular guests while the bus is getting off even having time to let a guest take a quick look at the toilets in our hell room because he and his wife and child are staying with us in a 2q regular room even though a member of his party is in a wheel chair, etc. This calm wasn’t to last.
Fun fact about South American tour bus groups, they’re fucking mad about everything when they get here. Big Box Electronics store is too far away to walk to? That’s your fault. You don’t speak whatever the fuck dialect they speak, they’re just going to interrupt you and yell louder in whatever mash up between Spanish and Portuguese they speak is. It seriously doesn’t make any more sense if you yell faster and louder.
I called them an Uber after being screamed at (like seriously I’m not even being over the top on this one) for our Big Box Electronics store not being close enough to the hotel and not being able to decipher what in the fuck they needed to go shopping for in the first fucking place. They just kept yelling “picture, picture” and gesturing to everything from a phone to a tablet, to someone’s purse to an Apple bag to another guests hat and did not want to wait an hour for a taxi cab. Finally I threw up my hands and called the tour guide.
Tour guide tells me to cancel the uber which had already arrived on my fucking credit card. Luckily I had called them previously and I went outside and the driver was kind of laughing because he had heard them shouting at me in the background and I was like “I know you have to charge me, it’s cool” and the driver was like “Nah mija I got you.” and HE cancelled the ride so that lets me off the hook.
When I get back inside the tour group now manager included are freaking the fuck out because we don’t have this random channel part of the world cup qualifiers are on. So we’re scrambling trying to find a place for them to watch the game. A light bulb goes off in my mind and I realize one of my friends who’s a pub owner is a soccer nut and I call down to their spot and another friend of mine is working so she double checks and they have this match on and is mentally ready for these international tourists to come have dinner and watch the match. I send the very noisy ungrateful people to visit my friend at her spot only to be greeted by the next few disasters
-Construction crew who’s reservation was supposed to be prepaid, it wasn’t. I let them in anyway because they’re with us for three days, and since I work today we’ll get their cc auth this morning.
-guy who I probably was the one to bounce him out of a room with a pull out couch come down and explain that my “partner” had promised him a rollaway over an hour before and hadn’t come in with it. I of course went to go get it and on the way saw someone had ripped all the weather stripping off a door some where and thrown it into the big hallway.
-Had the older couple from the other night, the ones who couldn’t sit on the bed? They came up to tell me what a horrible experience they had because now their door keys had stopped working. Of course they did, you made a one day reservation, extended after being here for four minutes and then decided that you had originally made that reservation 103 years ago when you were born. We offered you a chance to move to another room because you’re not cool with ADA rooms all of a sudden even though that’s what you reserved. Your keys stopped working because they were keyed to the reservation we received. Stop yelling. I’m sorry this is the worst experience you’ve ever had. No there isn’t a manager but me after 6pm. You’re not a magic snowflake member so I can’t buy you off with magic beans. I’m not comping your crankyassed stay. You’ve been rude as fuck since you got here and honestly I am at the point where I literally don’t care about you. I’ve made every concession in the world to try to help you “nice” elderly people out and you’re just rude. Off you go, please leave us a shitty review via messenger fox or carrier pigeon.
I am exactly, one 6 hour shift away from vacation. I can do this even though I just left that place 9 hours ago. I will have to see everyone who hated me from yesterday this morning at Breakfast but whatever, I’m off to be the best guest on the other side of the desk for the next two nights.
On the plus side I made 3 dollars taking a gentleman a shitty corkscrew on the 3rd floor. Thanks nice man.