how do you survive on your own · la la la lobby time · personal · Uncategorized

lions and tigers and bears… this is just Monday

I worked a swing, which is distressingly along with mornings going to be part of my rotation. (I can do any shift, I am a manager on duty, I just LOATHE mornings.) I will however do what needs to be done because we’re just 1-8 hour and a 6 hour away from my vacation. I will fucking snake a toilet, I don’t care. I have 2 1/2 days off. I seriously care not at all.

Upon arrival I see all of our arrival cards aren’t in alphabetical order and we have like 50 arrivals. Okay…. There’s a group who isn’t a group? What? What in the shit is this mess? Whatever, I have two other managers on they can help me right?


New girl goes home and we have a pretty steady stream of customers coming in early. No one sticks out until Mr I have 300000000 points shows up. He’s super nice and I get that he’s spending one of his bonus nights with us and that’s super nice too. We’re out of suites and he’s non plussed about it. Needs a microwave delivered to his room, again as much as it strains my back and I dare dream of a tip for this nonsense even though they’re only staying for one night and I know I won’t get one, I take them the microwave to their 2q. (remember I went into this room, it becomes important later)

I go back downstairs after that and look and realize “holy shit we’re out of 2Q rooms” We have singles but no more doubles. No clue as to why but do a quick call around to see who has them still and with a good soul can at least bounce people down the street to the place I worked at previous because if nothing else the Hotel Cortez has comparable rooms to ours and I can say that with a straight face.

Enter the guy who was a very top tier special snowflake who had me lug a microwave to the 3rd floor and rearrange their entire living area to accomodate such a microwave (no tip, paying on points)

TTM: Umm I don’t want to be a problem but our room smells.

Me:(I was just in there an hour ago and it didn’t smell like anything) My goodness, that’s terrible, let me see how I can..

TTM: Also the sink and bathtub are clogging

Me: (what the fuck did you and your entire family that’s crammed into that room do in the hour since I was up there and the room was completely normal) Well I do apologize (for what, seriously what the fuck did you guys do in 60 minutes) that’s my manager, this is a problem he can better solve than I can. You see sir, we do not have another room in your room type or any suites open this evening so let me get My Boss ™ and he’ll assist you.

My boss ends up moving them to a single king with a rollaway. For four people. Okay. They took their stupid microwave with them and I got to basically give these fuckers a free nights stay in rewards club magic beans, which comes out of our revenue. My boss even said the room didn’t smell. Whatever. Not my money, not my problem.

Then this other couple came in and oh lord they were sweet and it’s nice to see someone living an active life at 103 or whatever but good turkey on a bun they had some stupid requests and my co-worker and I were practically SHOUTING at them because they couldn’t hear or wouldn’t stop talking while we were trying to help them with something and they were forever calling the front desk after we checked them in wanting something or another. One was to extend an extra night which just because they reserved an ADA room they could do that but it got weirder.

Old Man: Look there is only one chair in here and that’s not okay.

(Our ADA rooms have one bed, one lounge chair, one desk chair and a bench)

Coworker: We’ll I can bring you a chair from the breakfast area but..

OM: NO GODDAMNIT I want a matching lounge chair. My wife and I sit in identical chairs at home and this won’t do. I need another lounge chair.

(Guess what we can’t legally put in that room?)

CW: Well sir I do apologize, some people make due by sitting on the bed..

OM: Who sits on the bed? This is a bunch of malarky! Also we only have one luggage rack? I need another one.

CW: I can get you the luggage rack.

OM hangs up and I offer to handle it. I go to the Closet of Requirements and get the stupid pop up luggage rack and when I get to the room OM is sitting the desk chair and they have identical suitcases that weigh virtually nothing but they’d like each suitcase on it’s own stand. Okay. So I try to pleasant while OM is harassing me about if we’d extended their stay. When I finished putting the stand up (and they we’re perfectly able to pop the first one up on their own and put a suitcase on it) I asked if there was anything else they needed help with and OL says “Well……………….can you put the other suitcase on the stand for us?”

I like old people alot. I used to have grandparents. So I go pick the identical suitcase that weighs less than my purse and put it on the stand and while I don’t want to stand there waiting for a tip but seriously some old people candy would be welcome at this point, we don’t offer any of these services, I was like “Will there be anything else I can help you with tonight?”

OM: no lock the door on your way out.


When I get back to the desk there is a granola mom screaming at my manager that she was promised a top floor room and she talked to the lady with the accent this morning (that’s not me guys) and she’d promised a top floor and this is her daughters college tour and they can’t possibly be on the ground floor and is this because they paid through…. Please just stop you crazy person. You’re on the ground floor because morning shift didn’t pre-block you when she spoke to you this morning. You are on the ground floor because we are 100% sold out of that room type and we can’t move you. I’ve bounced 10 people to other properties tonight because we don’t have any more fucking two queen rooms. Shut the fuck up and take your room. My manager finally got fed up with her and was like “Ma’am this is absolutely the only room we have left, you can either make due or make other plans.” The daughter looked like she wanted to cry and the mom said fine and they took the room.

Later when I was the only one at the desk Granola Mom came down and asked in a really shitty voice if we had hot water for tea. I said sure, let me grab my keys and a pitcher in case it needs refilled and I’ll take you over there.

I showed her where all the teas were and reminded her not to touch the hot water box things tops and topped them off and she was eyeballing the yogurt icebox which is closed and even though she was awful earlier I said “Ma’am is there something in that case you’d like?”

GM: Um… Could I get a yogurt? (She starts getting teary here.) My daughter and I… we’ve been on the road so long today and we’re both tired and hungry and this may be the last road trip I ever take with her before she goes to school…

Me: Ma’am what flavors would you like?

GM: Can I have one of each, I don’t even know what flavor she likes anymore?

She is literally crying at this point. I go into the kitchen and get them two Greek yogurts, one in each flavor, a cup of granola cereal, a banana and an apple and take it out to her.

Me: Here ma’am, let me put this on a tray and give you some spoons, okay?

And I hand her paper towel, because she’s crying and I make up her tray and throw some extra tea on it and ask her if she wants me to follow her to her room and she shakes her head and just says “Thank you”



And off she goes.


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