how do you survive on your own · la la la lobby time · people on the phone · the brotherhood of the keys · Uncategorized

Blinky The Three Eyed Fish, Coach Bags, Car Clubs, Oh my just another Saturday night

Tonight was entertaining although not catastrophic.

We were over half full which is great, it means I have the chance to fit people into rooms that actually fit their needs and not just whatever website gave them the reservation or the actual human who reserved on their behalf set up inappropriately trying to save 3.00. (Trust me this comes into play later)

So when I roll in and find we’re not slammed to the ground I breathe a sigh of relief and enjoy watching all the people from the wedding party we have in house leave for the wedding, and make sure to tell everyone how beautiful they look. I check in many parents taking their kids to see the university, making sure to talk up our parent discount if they actually choose the university.

I actually got management approval for something that, sorry I was going to do for our rewards club members on our next we’re sold out go fuck yourself weekend. The university is having a big orientation, we’re sold out, parking is fucking dick at the college and we’re the closest to the school. We have a sister property 15 minutes south of us with actual reasonable rates so because every other hotel on my street is sold out I’ve been directing them to that spot. I’ve offered up our over sized parking lot for parents to drop their cars and either walk to the uni or take an uber from our spot. Management thought this was a fantastic idea, because duh if the kid ends up going to school there, they’ll be calling us for rooms in the fall. Plus we’re all the same brand so who gives a fuck, borrow our parking lot, we’ve got lots of parking lot. Plus the event goes in shifts so not everyone will be using it at the same time. We don’t tow, we don’t care, but we only offer it to club members when they call freaked out that they can’t get a room even though they’re special tier whatever level. I am a problem solver.

Had three Nuclear engineers come in tonight. They’re working on our local Blinky The Three Eyed Fish factory and even though they’re from  France and Russia respectively, they thought we had a rate code for their company which is a contractor for the Blinky The Three Eyed Fish factory. We did not. But hey a contractor is an employee right? So I was able to give the lads the rooms they requested at the rate they needed for their budget and they had badges and shit, so, whatever, good enough for me gents. Thanks for letting me practice my French with you.

At the same time these guys are trying to check in and I’m trying to help them out because hi, nuclear power, don’t want to glow in the dark, please fix whatever you’re here to fix… enter the luxury car club drivers.

You might ask what these guys might be. Honestly I don’t know other than they dress like a cross between Pimps and Sons of Anarchy and are fucking hilarious. And their handler had booked these two gentlemen who weren’t locals into a single king and requested “a cot” for one of them. They made jokes about cuddling and when I said “dude if you’re into that fine, but honestly I’m not going to get a rollaway for you, my manicure is already hurting” (Only because they’d been clowning with me and the French guy for a good 15 minutes by then) They actually offered to do it themselves.

I said “No two gents who spent the day driving Lambos and Austin Martins are definitely not being put in the room assigned to you” as I gestured at the elevator room that I can literally see from my desk. “No darlings tonight you’re living large… You’re… both…. getting… a bed each!” And one of them started doing the Oprah “You get a Bed! I get a bed! Everyone gets a bed!”

So I moved them out of hell and gave them a 2q which who gives a shit it was 9p and every walk in we had save for two looked at me like I grew a second head when I’d tell them the rate, so we had the space. They asked me for bar recs and gave me a card and told me to text them if my husband and I went out after I got off work.

Two older ladies from the wedding came up to the desk after I’d closed the hot tub and these gals have been nothing but awesome all the time they’ve stayed with us and asked why it was closed and I was feeling silly so I said “Because I’m keeping the riff raff out for you ladies, follow me I’ll let you in.” So I unblocked the gate, locked them in and said I’d be out at 10:50 to remind them to come in. They looked surprised but seriously how much trouble could they be? They were angels and they lost track of time and thanked me a million times.

The only weird thing I had to do today was restock towels in a room for a girl who looked like a spare Kardashian and her boyfriend. I offered just to hand them some from our stash and Faux Kimmie K said just to leave them in her room. No big deal it was close to the desk but I’m always sketch about going into people’s rooms and I asked her three times if she was okay with me personally going into their room while they were out. She said “Duh of course, that’s like your job.” Hair flip, off she goes.

So I got their towels copied a key, went in and left them on the bench by the bathroom. Holy shit that room was like a trashed instagram come to life. They’d  used all of the towels. In less than half a day. So much designer shit laying tossed every where, that I literally didn’t even go all the way inside the room. I had one foot in the hallway balancing like a crane or something to put the towels on that bench. Ain’t no way I’m going to get accused of stealing a fucking Coach bag.

I have tomorrow off. Then three more 8’s, but the last one is going to let me get off early enough to travel with my husband this week. Two different stays at two different tiers of our brand and 2 1/2 days of watching….

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