how do you survive on your own · la la la lobby time · Uncategorized

the one about the keys

Let me start this with I worked a day shift today and worked over time because we are overbooked and understaffed at the moment so they asked me to stay late to help out my partner. Didn’t want to, didn’t feel like it but a I never leave a partner deep in the weeds.

Anyway I had a two ladies come up to me because their keys weren’t working. Guest will be BF for BitchFace and I’ll be me.

BF: My Keys aren’t working and this IS THE SECOND FUCKING TIME THIS HAS HAPPENED SINCE WE GOT HERE.

Me: Well Ma’am I’d be happy to..

BF: The SECOND FUCKING TIME AND I DIDN’T HAVE THEM NEAR MY GODDAMNED CELL PHONE EITHER SO DON’T EVEN START WITH THAT.

Me: Well if you’ll tell me what room you’re in, I’d be happy to..

BF: THE SECOND TIME!

Me: Yes ma’am I understood that the FIRST time you told me and the subsequent other times as well but I can’t remake your key if you don’t show me an ID or tell me what room you’re in.

BF: This is outrageous.

yes ma’am it is outrageous that I am not clairvoyant and don’t just automatically know which room you’re in or even what your name is because I’ve never seen you in my life, this is an outrage and I deserve to be screamed at like this over a minor easily fixed issue that could be corrected if you’d just answer my question. Outrageous.

Me: Okay here’s your new key, have a nice day.

Of course the daughter goes stomping outside and the elderly mom goes back to their room only to find their new keys do not work. We have recently received a batch of Brand Name Keys that all seem to not want to hold the programming. I get it, it’s annoying to have to walk five more feet to come back and ask me to fix them but when I’ve programmed the keys once and they don’t work, I generally throw them aside and charge up a new set, which is what I did when the mom came back to tell me the keys weren’t working again. I also, because the mom was elderly and her bitch face daughter was out doing whatever it is that bridge trolls do when they’re not screaming at me, walked the mom back to her room and made sure the keys worked because if it didn’t I was going to deduce it was the door malfunctioning and not the keys.

I apologized to the mom profusely of course and after I made a whole other set of keys and tried the lock myself, tadaa the door worked.

BitchFace Mc See You Next Tuesday comes storming back in, I assume because her mother now had all the functioning keys and is livid to have to come back in the front door. I’m sorry you’re lazy and couldn’t get in the back door because I didn’t want your mom standing around in the hallway while we waited for you to get back from trollville.

BF: THESE DON’T FUCKING WORK EITHER.

Me:Well yes ma’am I rekeyed your entire reservation and your mother has both keys and is waiting for you in her room with your new keys. I walked her back there myself and tried the door these keys work perfectly fine, I tried them myself.

BF: WHATEVER.

And then this sewer monster threw her fucking keys at me. Not the counter. She straight pitched it at me and stomped off and hopefully fell down the elevator shaft.

If it were a night shift and I was alone I would have evicted her right then. But it wasn’t and day shift has to get permission from the managers and they were all locked up in a meeting and honestly I didn’t want to throw some little old lady traveling with her trashbag daughter out of the hotel so I just said “Enjoy your stay” and waved at her. I hope I didn’t set a wake up call for her at 3am….

spoiler alert, I didn’t but it would have made me laugh

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