As a guest, these are the best and worst cheap hotels I’ve ever stayed at

Best by far was this weird place my former roommate and I found in some city near a state’s capital. It was sort of run down but holy shit it was cheap. I’m talking 40 dollars a night cheap and the double queen room we stayed in was insanely huge. Like we had a living room and a kitchen along with two beds and a big tv. It was awesome if you didn’t mind fashionable 1970’s decor and a shower that wasn’t quite up to scale. We paid the five dollars to make phone calls and basically plugged my computer in and dialed up our internet providers “traveling number” and left it plugged in and on, on my computer. We swam in the pool and a guy came out from the office and told us we couldn’t drink beer in the pool. We offered to get up and pour them out and he was hilarious, and trust me I understand a lot more now, he said “No don’t waste beer, just don’t open any more out here.” 10/10 would stay in this place with the hookers and crackheads who didn’t break into my car again.


There are two. The first was in a Bay Area City Somewhere. It was owned by some insane maniac who was obsessed with if we were smoking or not. We weren’t. He already had yelled at me like three times before we even went into the room. The room next to us was smoking weed at maximum volume. Whatever. The room was basically the size of my bedroom now. It sucked. I went out to the parking lot which also sucked, and in my car with the windows rolled up lit a cigarette that I was going to enjoy (I’ve long since quit again) on the way to buy some ice and the front desk crazy came out screaming at me about smoking. I didn’t smoke in the room, didn’t even have the windows open on my car and this dude is banging on my window while I’m trying to back up to go buy ice because they didn’t have an ice machine. Nope. Never again.

Second one was in a city that has a large theme park involving a mouse. It USED to be a major brand hotel and was still being represented on Exkyaktravelwebs as a major brand. Thought it was kind of weird that it was so cheap but what the fuck, we’re traveling. We get there at 9pm and didn’t have a lot of time to look around because we were going to a concert. We did notice however that there wasn’t any toilet paper in the bathroom and asked on our way out for some to be brought up while we were gone. When we got back at 1am, no toilet paper. Totally understand how this could happen but that’s a fair amount of time to run up to someone’s room. I had to go down to the desk two more times to actually get us toilet paper so we could use the bathroom. This is when we found out also there was no hot water in our room. No one working thought this was an emergency. They said it would be working in the morning. Assuming that meant someone would call someone we went to sleep. We got up in the morning and decided to go use the spa. It’s freezing cold. It’s broken, no out of order sign. Okay, well fuck we’ll just take a shower and go shopping before the second concert we were going to. Nope. Still no hot water. No apologies either, just a very flat “yeah the water heater is out. No discounts.”

I very politely asked that our room at least be made up. If I’m taking showers in an ice bucket I at least want some fresh towels. Our room never got made up. I don’t think the hot water worked the entire time we were there. Never again budget fake brand name hotel. My employee rate at least lets me know I’m getting a shower. And towels. And toilet paper.




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