how do you survive on your own · la la la lobby time · Uncategorized

the night from hell 2: sharknado

Lets talk about the invasion of the rich kid school bus on the same night as two weddings.

-Wedding people- Cool as fuck. They’re from my hometown a few hours a way and weren’t terribly picky, just hungry and drunk and well behaved.

-Weird (like seriously this is the strangest but nicest people I’ve encountered) people from the Midwest tipped me a couple of bucks for bringing them two blankets. This paid for the idea of the chips I wanted from the vending machine. I never got them though as our vending machines were out of the chips I wanted.

-We were sold the fuck out. People do not understand that doesn’t mean there is a secret closet somewhere with all the rooms we don’t want to sell you. It literally means we like all the other properties from here to Hawaii are out of fucking rooms. I don’t have anywhere to place you. No I seriously don’t care what kind of snowflake you are, no room at the Inn. Talk to the Mother of Christ about it. Innkeepers are terrible. I can’t make a room out of thin air you psycho on the phone. Go sleep in a field, I literally have ceased to care about you.

-No ElectricalCompanyOfSomewhere, I can’t make up six rooms for your employees you should have homed earlier. I don’t give a fuck, we’re sold out. 100 rooms are currently occupied by other people. Literally I couldn’t give the Pope a room at this point.

-Weird lady who couldn’t work her door keys and kept staring at me like the invasion of the body snatchers can get on the go to hell bus too. She came up to complain about the comforters. Not the state or usability of them but she literally thought we were shorting her on some bed spread and didn’t like the look of the way we do the rooms. Okay crazy, go to bed.


Their kids filled up the front trash can and its some how my fault they got off the bus and immediately filled up the two trash cans out in front of our hotel. Like we don’t have a dumpster on the other side of the building. Like why are you complaining about garbage YOU made still being in the trash can? It’s fucking 10pm and there isn’t anyone else here. Just me and GhostGuest. She doesn’t do trash.

So then they want trash bags from me to take their pizza accessories to their rooms which is fine. They drain the coffee station 3 times. Okay.

But there was a room that didn’t meet their standards. I guess one of the rooms they were blocked into smelled of smoke. The last time these little darlings were with us I moved a room 3 times. Once was valid but the second two times were iffy situations. We’re again 100% sold out last night and the chaperones kept telling me the boys couldn’t sleep in this one room because it smelled like smoke.

First off this group stuffs four girls into a 2 Queen room and lets the boys have 2 to a 2 queen room, bite me. But secondly how are actual educators of the children of this richy bitch city visiting us so stupid to realize that when I say I CAN NOT MOVE THE ROOMS. I LITERALLY HAVE NO WHERE ELSE TO PUT THESE CHILDREN. I HAVE NO MORE ROOMS. LIKE I CAN’T MOVE YOUR CHILDREN, means we literally have no more rooms. How the fuck… I just can’t.

So of course the next thing is put the kids in cots in another 2q which WHAT THE FUCK YOU HAVE THE GIRLS SLEEPING TOGETHER IN THE SAME BEDS, WHY DO THESE TWO BOYS GET THEIR OWN BEDS?  But also IS ILLEGAL TO PUT ROLLAWAYS IN A  2 Q IN THIS COUNTY. I’ll gladly fetch you a “no homo” pillow if that’s what you’re worried about but seriously.

I have two days off which I clearly need. I plan on doing as little as possible and if my phone rings I’m throwing it into the firey abyss the last two days came from.

tl:dr- I absolutely do not care about your shit when I don’t have a way to resolve it.


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