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the time I kicked someone out

Before I worked where I work now, I worked at another property on the same street that is a smaller independently owned property with 72 rooms. As I used to do the mornings my night auditor always had some truly strange story to tell me but on this morning he didn’t even have to start telling me anything, I walked in to some Coachella looking kids walking through our lobby at 6:30 in the morning without pants and trying to get into our pool.

I shooed them out of the lobby and went to get a look at the log book. It was a group of local kids that didn’t live very far from the property that had checked into 317 for god knows what. They had about 4 noise complaints and the White Kids With Dreads had been trying to get in the pool since before I arrived, and one of them had been caught trying to jump the fence (spoiler alert, we chained that gate so even if he got in, no joy would be had unless they all jumped)

I wondered why NA hadn’t thrown them out already but at that property my NA was either a very petite elderly lady or this dude who’s been on crutches as long as I’ve known him so I imagine they didn’t want to evict them just on the noise and pool charges.

As I was starting the check outs for the day, the Coachella Kids came back down with pants at least asking for combs and toothbrushes and pretty much everything we had, which I gave to them but I did mention “Hey Local Rich Kids, we’ve had a lot of noise complaints from your room, can you chill on the noise?” And I realized that these kids were stoned as hell or rolling on molly and watched them mindlessly nod at me and go start trying to make waffles in the breakfast area.

I had to wait until a manager came to do anything because the kind of GM I had. Around the time that GM rolled in I got three calls from the hallway where 317 was about the weed smell. I went up to investigate and the entire third floor just reeked of weed. Like it smelled like a Bob Marley concert up there and it was all centered around this one room.

Eviction time.

I’m a very petite girl and this property didn’t have security but I grabbed one of the housekeepers, a taller man and a walkie and went up and banged on the door, and Head Stoner Kid answered the door. He was mad that I’d bothered him, after all his reservation was for a few more nights. I explained all of the complaints and also observed about 8 people in a two queen room that was going to most likely be off line for two days…

He called me a fucking bitch.

So I said “You have 30 minutes to leave, you’ve already been checked out. If you need me to call you a cab I am happy to do so but if you’re not gone in 30 minutes, I’ll call you a black and white cab to move you to the next hotel you’ll be staying at and you’re not going to like that one at all.”

They left.

Hours later we get a call from some parent of one of these shitheads and it turns out they used their daddy’s credit card for this room and he wanted to dispute the charges because he had never stayed there… I still to this day wondered who checked that shit show in without noticing all the red flags.

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